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For the first time this year, there was just as much anticipation over a guest performer as the results during this third round of quarter final eliminations. Before the JabbaWockeeZ performed, Nick Cannon introduced them by stating that they had “started out on this show, and now they have their own hit show in Las Vegas.”

The performance was brilliant, and afterwards, Cannon asked them of the elephant in the room: “Three years ago, you appeared on this show. How important was that for you?”

Critics of the judges who may have been expecting the judges to be called out (or copout) may have been disappointed. The JabbaWockeeZ took the high road and stated that they were “just very humble to be here again.”

The judges, meanwhile, were at each others’ throats right from the get go. Sharon immediately took a stab at Piers, calling him “so pompous he will never admit when he’s wrong,” completely forgetting that Morgan is the only judge that has ever taken back his X (such as with Phil Trau), not just on this season, but ever in the five seasons that AGT has been running.

Cannon once again called Morgan “the ogre,” (because, in spite of supposedly being a comedian, he’s evidently not imaginative enough to come up with any other nicknames for him), to which Morgan retorted that “Somebody has got to be here to correct “Howie the Halfwit.”

It wasn’t until after Morgan took a stab at Chipps Cooney, however, that Howie Mandel, America’s #1 fan of all things fecal, went into a verbal frenzy in which he continually used the word ‘besmirching,’ accusing Morgan of trying to “besmirch my reputation,” but asserting that he is “unbesmirchable.”

Finally the truth comes out: Howie Mandel wasn’t defending the acts; he was defending himself for including them in the first place. He has decided that he would much rather stay the course and continue down the path of disaster than man up and admit that he has made mistakes (he pulled a Dubya, in other words).

The judges (Mandel especially) took time out to feud with each other, but the night was still about the contestants. This truly was the most difficult night to forecast; there were many shocks this time around.

First called out were, in order, the South Philly Vikings, C.J. Dippa, and Haspop. Obviously enough, it was Haspop who went through.

Next called out were Chipps Cooney, Studio One Young Beast Society, and Polina Volchek. Compared to the other two, there was little doubt who the second spot would go to: S.O.Y.B.S. That they advanced without the judges support, however, was quite amazing.

Before announcing the results, however, Cannon asked Mandel who he thought was going through. Mandel, of course, failed to answer the question completely, and instead chose to yammer on at length about how much he loved Chipps Cooney and how bright he believed his future was, once again electing to accuse Morgan of not having a sense of humor.

Once the results were announced, Cannon asked Morgan’s opinion, and he proved that he actually DOES have a sense of humor by feigning disappointment that Cooney was gone and repeating all the things that had been said by Howie Mandel of him, almost as if to give Mandel himself some sense of just how stupid he himself has been behaving.

“He’s a besmircher! He’s a besmircher!” Mandel interrupted.

Morgan has reached a point where he cannot even clear his throat without Mandel interrupting. It’s like Mandel is terrified that Morgan will open his mouth and something smart will come out.

While S.O.Y.B.S. were very good dancers last night, this must have left a knot in a lot of viewers’ stomachs, as there was only one automatic pass to go and two top talents waiting offstage. Those two were called to the stage together: The Strange Familiar and Debra Romer, along with Luigi Seno.

Cannon asked Morgan’s opinion this time, and he stated that these three acts were very “curious,” because he believed The Strange Familiar and Seno had potential but were off the night before, and that when he reviewed the tape of Debra Romer, it was not as good as he remembered her being.

The third spot went to Romer, the criticism of the judges evidently being all it takes to send even a top contender over the edge. They and Seno got a nice parting gift though; the judges pointed out that the JabbaWockeeZ were huge stars in spite of not having even performed live on AGT, and when Cannon asked how Romer felt about being in the semifinals, she said of the Strange Familiar and Luigi Seno that “they were the two that I was most afraid of.”

That left three acts waiting offstage: Harmonica Pierre, Kaya & Sadie, and Jeremy Vanschoonhoven.

If you thought it was a no-brainer who the last act that was going home was, you would be wrong. The last elimination went to Harmonica Pierre. So after five years of trying, the judges have FINALLY succeeded in finding an exotic dance group that America did not reject outright immediately.

The judges, however, did it for America instead. Both Osbourne and Morgan voted for Vanschoonhoven, nullifying the vote of Howie the Halfwit, who, like Hasselhoff before him, chose to pretend he would have chosen Vanschoonhoven as well. His exact words were “I think Jeremy should go to Vegas and Kaya and Sadie should come to my house.”

With only twelve finalists left, there is hardly any secret over who will be performing for the last night of semifinals. The best have already performed, so they have evidently saved the worst for last instead (you know who I’m talking about*). Next week’s finalists will be, in random order:

1. Anna & Patryk
2. ArcAttack
3. Da Maniacs
4. Mary Ellen*
5. Doogie Horner
6. Rudi Macaggi
7. Taylor Mathews
8. NU Covenant
9. Prince Poppycock
10. Murray Sawchuck
11. Lindsey Stirling
12. Strikers All-Stars